Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships do not normally come out of the blue.  They tend to have numerous warning signs before the actual abuse begins.  There are also different types of abuse physical, sexual, and verbal.  I am no expert but I unfortunately have been a victim of all three to some degree.  I choose to be a victim NO MORE!!!!

The warning signs and prerequisites of physical abuse are sometimes more obvious than others,

·         Everything is a big rush:

o   They Rush things.  Everything happens very fast.  Being together all of the time, I love you, Sex, Moving in together.

o   Constantly showering you with gifts and compliments for no reason.

o   They want to hurry and get you attached before their true colors shine through.

·         Jealousy:

o   Not wanting you to talk to other boys.  How do you think that makes me feel? 

o   Not wanting you to wear makeup or do your hair anymore or not wear certain clothes.

o   Normally you get lines like, You are so beautiful without it or who are you trying to impress, you have me. 

·         Alienation from friends and family.

o   Not wanting you to hang out with your friends anymore.  They will always have reasons that you can’t.  You need to be home for my phone calls and so on.

o   Nobody loves you like I do.

o   You and I are all we have.

·         Defensive Attitude

o   When you mention family questioning your relationship he will tell you they just don’t know what it is like to be in love.

o   Everyone is jealous of what you have.

o   No one wants us to be happy.

·         Beginning signs of abuse.

o   You’ll start seeing not so innocent accidents.

o   Pushing, grabbing, shoving.

o   Possibly some throwing of things and punching of walls and so on.

o   Oh it was an accident.

o   I’m so sorry.

·         Verbal Abuse

o   You are no good.

o   No one else would ever love you.

o   Various four letter names that I won’t list here.

·         Progressive abuse

o   Before long it will progress.

o   At first a slap here and there in a fit of anger.

o   Followed by apologies and gifts.

o   And then a rerun all over again getting worse as time goes on as they see they can get away with it.

o   They break you down and belittle you until you are too scared and believe you have no choice.

Love should not hurt.  Love is a beautiful thing when you find it.  You can not change someone and you can not help them under these conditions. 

If you are a victim of these circumstances please seek help and GET OUT.  If you believe that someone that you love is a victim help them.  It will not be easy but there is help out there.  www.ncvc.org is a National Website to help victims of abuse.   

I haven chosen to be a victim NO MORE and so should you.