To Quit or Not To Quit??

Hey, I really need to talk to someone about one of my activities. I'm a swimmer and i HATE it! It's five days a week and sometimes seven if i have a meet!!!!! It's making me miss too much. See, my mom just called me saying i need to pack my swim bag. I never look forward to it and i only have, like, one fun practie per 2 weeks. And my coaches make us swim 2,500-3,ooo yards! Per day! I asked my mom to let me quit, but she yelled at me for at least half an hour, brought my dad into it, and said i couldn't! Advice? Help!

I'm sorry I just got your post. I am unfortunately having computer problems.

I'm so sorry to hear about your problem. Advice?? Well I will do my best.

It sounds like you have been swimming for quite a while now competitively. Sometimes it is hard for us (moms and dads) to understand when you are having problems with something that once made you so happy and has had so much of your time and our time devoted to it. Do you swim year round or is there a season?

What I would suggest is talking to whichever parent you can relate to better (sometimes believe it or not dad's are easier to talk to) or maybe both of them together. But that is different for everyone. I would sit down and tell them how much you are struggling with your schedule and juggling school, swimming and other activities and see if they will let you take a break after this season or, if year round, a certain meet is over.

I would never recommend quitting anything mid season. It is hard on everyone involved. You because you have committed yourself to this for the season and you want to be someone who owns up to there commitments and you want people to be able to rely on you to do that. Otherwise you will find yourself left out because people will never know if you are going to finish what you start. Your parents because they have spent time and money on your commitment. Your coach and your team are depending on you for this season.

Instead of quitting when the season is over just take a break. You made decide you miss it and/or your parents may decide that they enjoy life minus the swimming. After all we only want what is best for our children.

For the rest of the season I would try to find what you enjoy out of those practices you do enjoy and build on that. I strongly feel that happiness is a decision and I would make the decision to make the best of this until you have filled your commitment.

As far as your friends on the team, it is good that you have found them as a positive. Chances are that some of them are facing the same struggles as you are. They may be able to help you through this. I definitely would not get involved in picking on the girl that quit because you wouldn’t want them to do it to you. Maybe you could defend to them that because you don’t know her situation maybe it is best not to judge her.

I will say that you can keep in contact with them if you take a break and if not then maybe they were not your true friends to begin with.

I hope that this will help you with your problem and keep me posted.

Luxurious Life of a Teen Mom

I was running across the beach with the hot sand almost burning the bottom of my feet as I run to catch the Frisbee.  With relief on my feet I ran into the cool water as I caught it.  The water was splashing around my ankles as my foot prints in the sand faded away and off to sea. 

I was having a hard time keeping my hair back out of my face so I could see to toss the Frisbee back.  The breeze against my face cooled it from the beating sun.  The fresh smell of salt water and seaweed was strong. 

I could hear the waves splashing off the rock wall in the distance and the seagulls were squawking loudly as they circled above.  The sound of people laughing and playing on the crowded beach was eventually defeated by a crying baby.  Expecting to see a mom with a very unhappy infant I looked around the beach to see where the crying was coming from. 

It was then that I awoke to still here the crying baby.  But now it was louder and clearer.  Finally I realized that I woke to my own baby crying for her midnight feeding.  As I wiped the sleep from my eyes to look around and comprehend that I must have been dreaming. 

I wasn’t at the beach with my friends taking a break from studying.  I was home alone with only the company of my tiny new born infant.  Not on my Senior Trip at the beach with the rest of my graduating classmates.  Just me and my new responsibility.

I looked across the room to see the alarm clock flashing 2:34 am.  With a deep sigh I whipped all my covers off dropping my books between my bed and the wall.  I could hear all of the papers hitting the floor and slipping under the bed.  I must have fallen asleep studying for finals again. 

I rolled out of bed whispering, “Not again, I just fell asleep.”  As if she really cared.  She was hungry and needed to be fed.  Walking across the room to get her out of her bassinet I stubbed my toe tripping over my back pack and diaper bag.  Only to catch myself with a heaping pile of laundry that I haven’t had the time to wash at the Laundromat.

As soon as I recovered from my stubbed toe and fall I stumbled still half asleep to pick up my bundle of joy.  I tried to comfort her enough to get her back to the bed, I grab a diaper and some wipes to change her.  She seems to calm down a bit in my arms until I set her down to change her and she begins to cry again when she is exposed to the cooler night air. 

Once I get her changed and bundled back up I try to nurse her.  Being that we are both new at this we have a little bit of a difficult time with latching onto the breast which makes it hurt.  By this time we are both crying hysterically and finding it hard to get the breast feeding down.  After quite a few tries and many tears she finally latches on appropriately and starts to calm down.   

Once I feel comfortable that she is eating and that I am not going to smother her while feeding her we settle down long enough for her to eat a bit and to burp her.  After feeding and burping her until she is content she falls asleep in my arms.  Not wanting to wake her up I lay her next to me in bed.  

All of this with the hopes that she will sleep the remainder of the night or should I say morning so that I could sleep and be off to work in the morning.   

Girls's Middle School Survival

GIRL'S MIDDLE SCHOOL SURVIVAL

     Middle school is one of the times in your life of ultimate change and newly found independence.  You are introduced to new experiences and new challenges in all aspects of life.  The most important necessities you need are self-confidence and a few good friends.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
     The long anticipated first day of school is intimidating, since for many of us it means a new school, new lockers, new teachers, and new schedules.  With a little bit of self-confidence and at least one good friend you can conquer it.  After studying your schedule and getting a school tour you will be able to prepare for the school day ahead.  The teachers are pretty easygoing the first few days of school to give you a chance to adjust.

LOCKERS AND LOCKS

     As for the new lockers they probably have one of those scary combination locks on them.  "Wait a minute which way do I turn it first," you may ask yourself.  Some have found it helpful to pick up a padlock at the local dollar store over the summer and practice with it until you are comfortable.  The combination on your school locker will not be the same but they all work the same and you will the hang of it.  At least you may not be too late on those early days when you have to find that new classroom.

HARD WORK IS KEY

     Being prepared, organized and ready for hard work is the key to success with homework and studies.  You will have to work harder than you did in elementary school.  Some nights you may have hours of homework and others you may not have any.  Just don’t wait until the last minute to do your homework.  It helps many kids to have a study group with friends when possible.  If you are having problems with work most teachers are willing to help you and have time set aside to do so.  Having your homework done on time and doing well on tests will boost your self-confidence and it will head off any negative attention from teachers or other students.
CLUBS AND ACTIVITIES

     As you enter middle school all sorts of new doors open for you.  It can be overwhelming and you may not know where to start. Don’t feel pressured to join everything, instead do what makes you comfortable.  Don’t spread yourself too thin and make sure you leave enough time and energy for your studies and homework.  Without good grades you may be ineligible for the extracurricular activities at school.
     If sports are not your thing, then explore other opportunities like the Drama Club, the Future Farmers of America, or the Mathletes team.  Clubs and activities vary based on size and funding available to schools. If you look around you will often find something that interests you.
     If you have an interest or sport that is not available at your school, sometimes neighboring schools work together to offer more opportunities to their students.  If that still doesn’t help ask around with fellow students and advisors at your school and see if you can start a new club.  You may spark some interest with others.

FRIENDS

     Unfortunately, you and your best friends may want to explore different interests.  Joining different activities will introduce you to new people and old friends may drift apart as you make new ones.  Be supportive instead of jealous because this does not mean that you will no longer be friends.  As the old song goes, “Make new friends but keep the old.  One is silver and the other is gold.”  You don’t have to see or talk to someone every day to still be best friends.  The key to this is being there for each other when you need to and you will find your true friends.

GROWING UP IN OTHER WAYS

     Of course one of the major changes in life happens during the same time frame, puberty.  On the bright side, there is not much that’s funnier than seeing your seventh grade health teacher frolicking around the classroom wearing a maxi pad on her forehead like she had just won tickets to her favorite concert.  Now, that’s not something you get to see every day. You can take comfort in knowing that everyone will go through this, even the boys with their own embarrassing matters.
     You can track your schedule on a monthly calendar so you can be prepared for those days that you will happen to start your period, in the middle of math class for instance.  You can carry supplies with you in your purse, backpack, and keep one in your locker out of plain site of course.  If for some reason you ever get caught off guard the nurse keeps supplies just in case.
     A couple of other simple tips are if you put deodorant on before you go to bed in addition to the morning it gives your body a chance to absorb it and can cut down on any body odor.  When you shave your legs and armpits when you ready if you use conditioner instead of regular soap it softens the hair follicles and moisturizes at the same time.

A YEAR OF FIRSTS

     We can’t forget one of the exciting parts of seventh grade first dances, boyfriends, kisses, and dates.  If your parents are ok with you sticking your toes into the dating pool, then start with groups. Go with a group of friends to the movies, the mall, or the school dance.  The important thing to remember here is to never feel pressured into anything that you are not comfortable with and know that it is ok and you are not alone. You have your whole life ahead of you for boys and dating and your true friends will understand.
     Throughout middle school and the rest of your life the main thing to remember is to be true to yourself.  With your self-confidence and true friends you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.  Remember on those days when you think that your parents will not understand they have been here and may be able to help.  They survived and so will you. 

My section for girls

This will be my new section for some of my articles for young girls that I hope to some day have published.  I hope that in these articles I can achieve in making a difference.  Even if it is only for one young girl.